It started with an itch

In my early 20s, I developed an itch on my arm. I scratched it, it scabbed, and it disappeared. It later came back. The itch was not an ordinary itch - it was red and there were little bumps allover the affected skin area. I kept scratching it. It kept spreading. It kept getting redder. I eventually learned that I had photodermatitis, a skin condition which is triggered by sunlight (and I live in Hawaii... fuck!). To treat my dermatitis, I use a topical cream. 

The secret treatment: hot water

The itch on my arms is awful, but I have a secret treatment: scalding hot water. 

I don't want to scratch my affected skin, but at the same time, it's so hard to concentrate when my photodermatits is active. So, I take a hot shower to subdue the itch without having to scratch it. And when the hot water touches my itchy skin, I get a powerful feeling that's almost as good as an orgasm. No, I'm serious - I get an O-Face.

Not quite an orgasm

The feeling I get when hot water runs over my photodermatitis is great. I can't say that the feeling is quite an orgasm. My orgasms are like  - they are abrupt and quick. My eyes roll to the back of my head and my eyelids start to flicker. But my feeling when the hot water touches my afflicted skin is like ... ...  - it's slow, tender, and so satisfying (and sometimes I hit a good spot, it can be strong too). I want to just lay back and let out a deep sigh and a grunt. It does not have the pleasure peak of an orgasm; but it's prolonged (about 6 seconds) and strong. And when I wait a bit, I can run the hot water over my skin again to feel good again - but not as good as the first time. So, I'm guessing the feeling I have might be closer to a female orgasm. But I wouldn't really know because I'm just talking about relief of an itch on my arms... and I don't know what it's like to have a female orgasm.

Cause scratching an itch can be like sex

It makes sense in the end because sex is just like an itch. You can't think because it's so itchy. And you want someone to scratch it. When someone scratches it, you want it even harder. And you want them to keep scratching it until you don't want it anymore. Also, physical pleasure for both comes from nerve endings.

It's both a curse and a blessing - a curse because I must live with it and avoid the sun, but a blessing, because treating it feels like an orgasm on my arms.

Note: I have no kids. But that doesn't mean I can't have good parenting ideas. If you needed to have kids to know how to raise kids, then that would mean that every person in the world is a better parent than I could be. That's hard to believe.

Beauty is important for women

Here's a truth: no matter where in the world you are, women are valued by their looks. Even in America, a country that has gone through the women rights movement, women are still valued by their looks. Even for professional women, looks matter and can contribute to their success. Just take a look at any news station, if you don't believe me: there are attractive women on every station. And in sports, guess who are the most popular and getting the most endorsement deals? It's not the most successful ones, but rather, the most attractive ones, such as Anna Kournikova, Danica Patrick, and this Australian hurdler:

Why do young girls want to be pretty?

Historically speaking, traits of being pretty are associated with fertility. And since women have been baby makers for a majority of human history, we still carry that subconscious sentiment today. There's another reason though.

The main reason that women want to be pretty is because that is how they are socialized. Everyone from their parents, to their aunties, to their teacher, to their future boyfriends will compliment them on how pretty, cute, adorable, or beautiful they are. After awhile, any girl will be trained to think that looks are a major factor in her value as a person. And when she starts looking at Seventeen magazine and watching MTV, what she sees there will further confirm that idea in her mind.

There will probably be a moment during teenage years where she's self-conscious and you sit and talk with because she doesn't feel pretty. You then comfort her... by telling her that she's smart, intelligent ... and indeed is pretty. Heck, even if she's butt ugly, you'll probably say some line like she's "pretty on the inside." That's silly, because you're offering a consolation prize that includes the word "pretty."

Help her realize that there's value outside of her looks.

If you had to enroll your daughter in 1 after school activity, which would you prefer: modeling or softball? I hope you choose softball. Here's why:

In psychology, there are the concepts of self-esteem and self-efficacy. Self-esteem is how someone views themself. Self-esteem can be increased by internal or external means. For most young girls, telling them that they are pretty is an easy way to boost their self-esteem. The girls basically have a positive view of themselves because they are pretty. What if someone tells them that they're fat or ugly? That will knock their self-esteem back. Or what if the girl gets a zit outbreak, gets old, or gets into a scarring car crash? That will absolutely devastate her self-esteem.

Self-efficacy is how able someone thinks they are. Self-efficacy is completely developed internally: you cannot see yourself as a competent and able person unless you see yourself finishing tasks or achieving accomplishments. Interestingly enough, self-efficacy is directly related to self-esteem. By this, I mean that no matter how much people shit on you, as long as you know that you're an able person that can do great things, you'll always have a decent outlook on yourself. 

So choose softball over modeling. She'll suck at softball at first, but if she keeps at it, she'll realize what she can do as a person with arms and legs. Instead of a "you're pretty" compliment, she'll be getting a "nice catch, girl" compliment. Which do you think is better for her?

Improvement vs Changing Yourself

Everyone knows that they can be better (except narcissists). Someone with good self-esteem will accept who they are, and commit to bettering themselves. Someone with poor self-esteem, does not like who they are, and they want to change themselves. Both are doing the same thing, but regarding the psychology behind their actions, one is definitely more preferred. 

One thing that is really sad is when old women (40+) can't accept the fact that they're aging and so they get plastic surgery to preserve their looks. Here's a scary thought: a lady gets plastic surgery because she wants to look younger and prettier. Why? Because she considers looks to be a large part of a woman's value and her own value. But no matter how much nip/tuck she gets, she's never going to look as good as younger girls in their 20s. So what can she do? Keep getting plastic surgery, going to spas, investing thousands in various creams and makeup and electric facial massages, etc. But she'll still not look as good and so she'll always have esteem issues. 

By the time that your daughter is 40, let's be honest, she's not gonna be pretty anymore. She might look good for her age, but she probably won't be "pretty." But it won't matter though, because she'll have had a lifetime of developing her self-esteem and self-efficacy (and softball skills) to the point where very little of self-worth comes from her looks. Basically, she'll know that she is a worthwhile human even though she's an old hag now and no one wants to fuck her (please see Hilary Clinton).

So parents, please don't tell your daughter that she's pretty. Enroll her in a sport. Teach her how to buy groceries and cook for the family. Or teach her web design. But don't enroll her in a beauty pageant where everyone judges her solely on her looks. And don't teach her how to use makeup before you teach her how to drive. And most importantly, don't tell her that she's pretty.