Sunday, 29 April 2012

  • I fucking love wealthy people

    I've always loved wealthy people. Ever since I went from a dirty and ghetto middle school to the top private school in Hawaii, I've always noticed how differently wealthy people live compared to poorer folks.

    I met a new client today. She lives in a wealthy area called "Hawaii Kai." I thought that she was regular rich, but I was wrong -- she is REALLY rich. Let me clarify:

    regular rich = doctor, lawyer, cpa, owner of a moderately successful business
    REALLY rich = ceos, company presidents, celebrities, and developers of revolutionary businesses

    I thought "REALLY rich" meant having multiple-stories and a pool in a gated community, but this client raised the bar: 3-4 big rooms on a property, pool, walkway between rooms, and the Pacific Ocean touching your backyard.

    It turns out that my client had amassed a huge fortune from starting a telecommunications company in a country that previously had only 1 telecommunications company that was charging people several US dollars a minute for long-distance calls (pretty much your standard, inefficient, overpriced monopoly business model). She was making over 2 million in profit a month before the government had to shut her company down to preserve the local company, which could not go out of business because it was in charge of essential communication lines for the country.

    Here was somebody living a completely different life than the one I'm living, but I understood her business model completely. I could tell that she loved talking about her business, and I loved hearing about it. You know what an equivalent type of story is for poor people? "Eh brah, let me tell you about that time I won $800 at the craps table at The Golden Nugget." That kind of story, I could give 2 fucks about.

    The final reason I love wealthy people is this: they make better clients. They have a lot of money, so they aren't as shy to spend it. Poor people will spend lots of money too, but it will be for shit like trips to Las Vegas, buying a new stereo, or putting payments toward a car they cannot reasonably afford. Poor people will rarely spend money on things that aren't "fun." This explains why I recently had a prospective client with a horrible site back out of a $250 redesign and I had another financially-strapped client try to offer $10/hr for my website services. You know what my really rich client did when we first met? She bought me lunch. Enough said.



    Seriously, brah, was $250 too steep to redesign your site?
    Maybe you thought the money would be better spent on 25 mai tais.


Thursday, 12 April 2012

  • The Twilight Romance was Creepy

    I actually want to blog about my frustrations and mishaps of self-employment. However, I have to get this thought down on paper before it gets banished to the dark region of my mind named "Oh, I forget."

    ***

    I watched parts of the Twilight movie on TV some years ago. It was adored by pre-pubescent girls allover the world, but I, a grown man in his 20s, thought differently -- the romantic relationship between Edward and Bella was kinda creepy.

    A 4-line summary of Twilight:
    1. Girl moves to a small town.
    2. Mysterious and handsome boy stalks her.
    3. She finds out he's a vampire and they play baseball.
    4. Boy saves girl from another vampire. She's really crushing on him now.


    It's a simple love story. What intrigued me though, was what made Bella special to Edward.

    All girls want to feel special. All romantic novels authors, Korean drama writers, and ladies men know this and exploit this truth to a never-ending rate. Bella is indeed "special." That is why Edward follows her, saves her (twice), tells her about his secret life, and even introduces her to his family. Have you wondered what is it about Bella that is so special?

    It's her blood.

    Even the villians acknowledge that her blood smells extra sweet *makes Hannibal Lecter's sucking noise*. Edward doesn't chew on people, but he must have the same attraction to Bella's hemoglobin scent that the bad vampires do. It's not her personality, her dark hair, or isolated spirit that makes her "special" in his eyes -- it's the blood. What is it called when someone is attracted to a physically inanimate object?

    It's called a fetish.

    By law of fetishes, any girl with similar blood to Bella would create a similar level of attraction in Edward. Even Rosie O' Donnell would look like Rose McGowan if she had the right blood scent.





    Edward's bro: Yo man, check out dat fine azz bitch on the right! Dayum!

    Edward: Eh... blood's too salty. The one on the left though...



    In conclusion, Edward is a creeper. You should've gone with Jacob, Bella -- he loved you for who you are.


Tuesday, 03 April 2012

  • So... starting a business is harder than I thought

    About a month ago, I decided to catch up on a useful trade I abandoned long ago: web design.

    Everything was so hopeful for me when I first started fishing for clients, but now, it's a lot of frustration.

    I'm frustrated because my clients are so hard to work with. Unresponsive fuckers. I have not heard from my important restaurant client in a week.

    I'm also frustrated because I've been trying to find a client for free website (to add to my portfolio/credentials), but so many people don't want a free website. FREE website. Their website looks like shit, or they have none, but they don't want a FREEEEE WEBSITE. FREEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


    I think my work is nice. I want to get to a point where my compensation will match my results. I got subcontracted to do a landing page for an escort agency. Spent a day on it. Tried to work within this contractor's somewhat-shabby ideas. What do you think?







    I would say I've learned 3 great lessons though:

    1. Marketing > Skill
    Even if your skill is mediocre, if you can get enough clients or traffic, that'll lead to business. Although there's a lot of people that will reject your services, there are plenty of people with low standards and deep pockets that don't know any better.

    If you're skilled, but don't market well, you simply have to wait until word-of-mouth advertises for you, which can take a loooong time. Reminds me of the new documentary of the sushi chef in the subway in Japan. He's in his 90s, doesn't advertise, yet reservations are made months in advance. In a damn subway, yo. But, I guarantee that he started off begging for business. Being so old is too long to wait for such success.

    Jiro Dreams of Sushi


    2. Good at it + Easy to learn = motivation
    I've done a lot of jobs in my life, and I'll tell you this: spending 10 hours working on a website is easier than spending 3 hours teaching little kids, making coleslaw and mashed potatoes, or explaining to customers how to use a fucking cell phone.

    The fact that I enjoy what I do and the fact that it's easy for me to pick up new ideas in this industry is necessary for any future success. If I had to go into a craft business instead and couldn't get a glue gun to work, I'd probably just say "fuck it"
    and trash everything.


    3. The wealthiest people delegate
    I came across this freelancing website called www.odesk.com . It's where clients and contractors can hook up. Now, what makes it interesting (and a bad place for me to find work) is that it's a global arena and is swarming with brown people -- Indians, Sir Lankans, etc. Because of exchange rates, these contractors bring market rates down to single digits! If you see a brown person charging $12, he's balling!! That's a shit load of rupees yo!!

    Now, think about this:

    If I'm a big web design company, I can get big clients. I'll charge them $15k. I'll then go find well-reviewed brownies on www.odesk.com, pay them $3k to do everything the client asked of me, and then just pocket $12k with doing minimal work.






    This is some interesting shit.



Sunday, 25 March 2012

  • racial stereotypes are products of learning

    we should all be racist to a degree.







    a lot of people think toddlers only eat, sleep, and shit -- but that is an ignorant statement. when we were toddlers, in between the applesauce, naps, and time on our sesame-street-themed toilet-seat, we were learning.

    we learned about the physical world.

    we were learning the basics of language.

    we learned that our mom's smile meant she liked us.

    we learned all that unconsciously, because we are natural learning -machines.




    then one day, we're getting pushed in the stroller around the block and we see some mutt pissing on a fire hydrant.





    having been indoors our whole lives, we're surprised to see a creature that's not standing on two legs and wearing jeans. our mother looks at us, points to the defiler of hydrants and says "dog. dog. DOOOOOOG." we make a note to ourselves that creatures with four legs and that smell bad are "dooooooog."




    so a year passes and we've graduated from the stroller to now bumbling about on our own feet. our mother takes us to the grocery store, holding our hands. we have to pass through the park to get there. while inside the park, this bugger pops out:






    we pause suddenly, point to it and yell,



    "DOOOOOOOOG!"


    our mother and all nearby females will let out a simultaneous awwwwwwwwww and chuckle at our "ignorance." however, they don't realize that we are smart, and have good reason to believe that it is a dog. from previous educational observations (aka listening to our mothers), we've decided that all creatures walking on fours that smell bad are called "dogs." but our mother leans down and says "no baby, that's a cat. CAAAAAAT." we'll be confused for weeks, unsure of why that "dog" was a "cat." our mothers will see find us spending hours sitting on our sesame street toilets -- our minds heavy in contemplation.

    we eventually figure it out though -- "dogs" that lick their crotches are "cats."





    we do the same with people:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqBu-JBm0Q0

    (Dave Chappelle segment)


    throughout the course of our lives, we will use the same learning method we used in the dog-and-cat example and apply it to races of people. instead of drawing conclusions on names, we will be drawing conclusions on wealth, social status, attractiveness, education, and everything else. people will be offended, but we're acting as we were meant to as learning machines.


    we'll grow up thinking that white people are wealthy, tall, educated, and attractive.

    we'll grow up thinking that black people are poor, rude, and criminally-inclined.

    we'll grow up thinking that asians are short, unmanly, and un-athletic.



    no matter how many times we observe our conclusions to be true, it only takes one deviation to make us re-think our conclusions.



      


figachewy

    • Name: just call me Ron
    • Location: Seoul, South Korea
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 7/24/2002
    • True

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